


Careful With Your Condiments

by SiriuslySherlocked



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Burgers - Freeform, Comedy, Cults, Demons, Diet, Funny, Oneshot, Random & Short, Short, Short One Shot, This Is STUPID, cult symbol, dieting, ketchup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:14:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29234376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SiriuslySherlocked/pseuds/SiriuslySherlocked
Summary: Food art is a no-no.
Relationships: Sans/Ketchup
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6





	Careful With Your Condiments

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt:  
> While putting your favorite condiment on a sandwich, you accidentally create the shape of an occult image and summon a demon.

Sans was about to dump an entire bottle of ketchup onto his burger when his brother’s shrill voice interrupted him.

“SANS! YOU NEED TO LIMIT THE KETCHUP! IT’S NOT GOOD FOR YOU!”

Sans tilted the bottle back up and looked over at him. “you remember what happened  _ last _ time we ‘limited the ketchup’?”

Papyrus shrank backward. “WELL… WE’LL JUST BE SURE NOT TO DO THAT AGAIN!”

Sans sighed as he remembered what had happened last time Papyrus had scolded him for his ketchup intake. “we don’t wanna risk it, remember?”

~

“SANS!”

Sans startled a little at his brother’s loud voice suddenly shouting from behind him. “what?”

“I’VE DECIDED THAT THIS KETCHUP ADDICTION OF YOURS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND. IT ISN’T GOOD FOR YOU. I’VE COME TO HELP YOU DIET!”

Sans stared at him blankly. “you’re... gonna take away… my ketchup?”

“YES. OR AT THE VERY LEAST, LIMIT IT. NOW, WE CAN’T HAVE YOU USING AN ENTIRE BOTTLE FOR ONE BURGER!” Papyrus said, hands on his hips as he looked reprimandingly at the large bottle of ketchup that had almost been entirely emptied on Sans’s lunch. “JUST GIVE IT TO ME, I’LL PUT IT ON THERE FOR YOU.” he grabbed the bottle and squeezed a tiny squiggle of ketchup in the center on the burger patty. “THERE!”

“what?! no, that’s so little! i’m gonna be able to actually taste the meat and the bread if that’s all the ketchup that’s on there!” Sans whined.

Papyrus sighed. “FINE, A BIT MORE, BUT ONLY BECAUSE WE’RE JUST STARTING THE DIET.” He squeezed the bottle again to create a messy spiral around the whole patty, embellishing it with stripes and dots until it was an artwork of condiment on a round, meaty canvas. He stood back to admire his work, no longer concerned with the amount of ketchup there was, and instead caring only for his newfound talent at food art. “NYEH HEH HEH! PERFECT! ALMOST TOO PERFECT TO EAT!”

“heh, it does look pretty cool. but not cool enough to escape my mouth.” Sans reached to pick the burger up, but they were both thrown backward by an unexplainable push of force surging at them violently.

“what the f---”

A dark, shadowy figure emerged from the burger patty, looming over the two skeletons like a heavy rain cloud, looking a bit confused. Its head, which appeared to be just a blob of dark smoke, looked to both sides, as if trying to recognize where it was. Then it looked down and noticed the skeletons. “...Oh,” came a deep, echoey voice, presumably the figure’s.

“uh... can we help you…?” Sans said cautiously, not knowing what the fuck was going on, but not all that suprised, either. His life was weird; the sooner he accepted it, the easier it was to handle it.

The figure turned to him. “Uh… NO! I’m here to haunt you and be evil and stuff! Are you scared? You should be! Cause I’m scary! ...Right?”

Sans shrugged. “yeah, but don’t take it from me. i’m used to weird shit like this. anyone else would be scared.”

The figure seemed defeated. “I couldn’t have been summoned by someone that feared me?!” it mumbled angrily under its breath. It looked at the other skeleton. Well,  _ he _ seemed frightened. He was balled up against the wall, squashed against the other one, eye sockets wide and fearful.

“so... summoned, huh? by who?” Sans questioned casually.

“What?! By you! Don’t you know who I am?!” The figure said crossly.

“uh… nope. sorry bud, but I think you got the wrong number. we didn’t order a ghost.”

“I am a DEMON thank you very much! And yes you did! See?! It’s right there, my symbol! It’s right there on that thing!” It pointed to the burger.

“wait... is it the shape of the ketchup?” Sans said, getting up to examine the ketchup art more thoroughly. “so... pap, you drew a cult symbol with ketchup and summoned a demon.”

Papyrus didn’t move, still shocked into silence, quite possibly the quietest he had ever been in his life.

“welp, sorry about the butt dial, but you can go back to wherever ya came from,” Sans said, shrugging. “don’t worry pal. i’m sure you’ll find someone to threaten. try a human, they’re scared of everything.”

The demon huffed, crossing its smokey arms. “Whatever! Thanks for nothing!” It shrank away back into the ketchup without another trace. 

Sans looked over at his brother. “we have just experienced proof that too little ketchup attracts evil. so, in conclusion, no ketchup diet.”

“W-WELL… IT DIDN’T SEEM VERY EVIL… A BIT RUDE MAYBE, BUT IT DIDN’T HURT US,” Papyrus said.

“but it coulda been evil,” Sans pointed out. “so we better not take any chances. not limiting ketchup has resulted in fewer demonic experiences than limiting it has, so i’m not gonna risk summoning something actually evil just because it’s ‘not good for me’. a demon wouldn’t be good for me either.”

Papyrus sighed in defeat. “I SUPPOSE YOU’RE RIGHT… BUT YOU COULD AT LEAST STOP DRINKING IT!”

  
“deal. but that just means i’m gonna be  _ eating _ it more.”


End file.
